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A guide to catching things in the stands...
Copypasta (Fuck Trevor Plouffe) If you're an grown ass adult that pays their own bills and everything, and a player (or ball/bat girl/boy) soft tosses a ball into the crowd after an inning or during BP and you catch it? You've gotta give it to a kid. Don’t even start to consider who you might be able to impress with it later, hand it to the smallest, cutest little fucker nearby. Experience what it feels like to impress a hundred (or a thousand) strangers a tiny way for a fleeting moment. I promise it won’t turn you into a communist or lead you to hand in your personal arsenal of questionable small arms to the authorities. If you end up catching a legitimately batted ball, you get to keep that shit no matter how old you are. If you were wearing your glove, don't get too impressed with yourself until you see the exit velocity on the replay you rushed home to watch. But if you saved someone's life or limb by catching it, or if you snatch a stray spinning bat out of the air, you're allowed to get impressed with yourself on the spot. If you had every opportunity to catch it, and everyone in the stands and watching at home thought you were definitely going to, but it klangs off your palms (because you never bothered doing those soft hand drills properly in little league) and touches anything that could be considered a floor or ground of some kind, you don’t get to scramble with everyone else for it at your feet. The universe chose this moment to reach out and touch you with an opportunity, and you weren’t fucking ready for it. You shit the bed, right there, in front of everyone. You don’t get to pick up second chances from the ground, you steal them out of the air. And if the ball has been absolutely smoked towards you risking the life and limb of others less capable around you but couldn’t possibly snag this with your bare hands, try to get your body in front of it and take one for the team. It happens to the catchers, the infielders and even most horribly, some of the pitchers (the most fragile of souls and bodies)(and foreheads) you’re supposed to be watching. Every hitter ends up wearing one occasionally, intentionally or accidentally, and even outfielders run into walls, begging to make that 3rd out with runners on. And, if you're over 18, you can't go scrambling through empty rows of seats with little kids to pick up a fly ball that nobody managed to catch. Start practicing to be an adult or else nobody will ever confuse you with one. You don’t earn a game ball just because you happened to be sitting nearby and you’re faster and stronger than most 12 year olds. Let that shit go and let them have it. I'm sorry but I can't have any sympathy getting hit with a foul ball or a spinning bat because they weren't watching the game. I believe that watching baseball (even while playing) is great because it affords you every opportunity to have the time (in between pitches, in between plays, in between games, during arguments, during replays) to talk to someone next to you about something that you just saw and have an opinion about. Hell, you can even check your phone if you're in the stands and you're able to figure out when things are happening in the game and when they aren't. If you're sitting or standing close enough to get injured by a bat or ball during a game you're supposed to be watching, have some fucking respect for the players that are playing. You're within X distance of literally the best players in the world, thousands of baseball fans all over the rest of the world may never get to watch any MLB game in the flesh during their lifetime, how fucking spoilt are you that you'd rather be playing candy crush or swiping on TindeGrindGrifter than watch guys try to achieve the hardest thing to do in sport? Why turn up at all if you're not going to watch? Someone paid pretty good money to have you sit there, have some fucking respect for them. At the very least, have some fucking self-awareness, because there are people capable of accidentally (and completely innocently) injuring or even killing you at a game. They're right there, risking career ending injuries or total humiliation on every fucking play they're involved in, and they've been at it for hours now. If I’m going to die from a frozen rope to the head while sitting in the stands, I should at least know which big leaguer was responsible for it. They’re going to feel horrible for it either way, but at least if you know who they are it’ll be far easier to visit them as a ghost and tell them it wasn’t their fault. It was entirely yours, as you couldn’t be bothered to watch the parts of their at bat when they were swinging. And if you weren’t, what the fuck were you doing at the game? You only have to pay attention during the moments in the game that matter, and it’s up to you to figure out or ask what they actually are. Then what about the guy reaching down between his feet for the next fresh beer that he's been cradling without caring/noticing that the pitcher had already started his windup and now that he's got his overpriced plastic cup of watered down draft back up to a normal sitting position he takes a line drive foul ball to the chest, spraying everyone with foam and shards of plastic? People who have fucking gall to call themselves fans of the game (and a goddamn Commissioner for fucks sake) want to speed up the game? Let the game take all the time it needs, I say. During a 3 hour game you only really have to keep your eyes on the field for no more then an hour at most. That means you get a least two hours per game of serenity, of sanctuary, from this rapidly changing world to: be alone with your thoughts, to discuss a life issue or inside baseball opinion with a friend, loved one or family member (they're not always the same), life partner, person who paid for your seat, or even the stranger who happens to be sitting next to you. Not finishing off that email to Sharon in HR about your recommendations going forward for maximising team member loyalty to corporate. And in the times you are meant to be watching, you have the chance to see something truly magical happen, in real life. You’ll even get to watch replays of it for years and revisit that incredible moment you experienced. Finally, if you are a father, with a son who just loves baseball, and is old enough and capable enough of fathoming just how special a legit MLB game ball is, and just how incredibly talented and hard-working MLB players are and the sacrifices they've made in their life to get to that level and stay at that level, and one of these players tosses one of those balls, underarm, at the end of any part of any game, and you manage pluck it out of the air before all the other dirty, grubby and grabby fan hands can reach it, don't you fucking dare to claim that you can keep it, because you have a son and he loves baseball and it would be just so special if you could give it to him... If all that is genuinely and sincerely true, then where the fuck is he and why are you at a game without him? The only possible exception is if your beloved, baseball loving son (who's a huge Tatis fan by the way and feels he's just misunderstood) is up at the back of the grandstand taking a shit while you caught said magical ball. Only then can you justifiably guard it with your life, despite boos from the unruly crowd and network television attention. But you have to make a HUGE song and dance about it when he finally returns (now 32 ounces lighter) and you can present the little fella with the ball in front of everyone and even the commentators (or maybe just JomBoy that notices it 3 hours later) will appreciate that your son has regained a little more than 5 ounces in weight with that special leather sphere in his precious little hands. God forbid his tiny soul if you discover that he's playing catch with it the next day against a concrete wall. On the other hand, if your son is in a hospital ward crumbling away from bone cancer and giving him that game ball might just save him from the precipice and return him back to full health, why the fuck are you at a ball game enjoying yourself and not next to your son’s bed in said hospital? Also, if you’re a father and things haven’t been that great lately so you’ve taken your son to a game but he can’t take his face out of his phone? Yes, your special time is ruined and it’s your fucking fault. If you haven’t realised that he’s not interested in baseball, no matter how much YOU are, then you really haven’t been engaging with him very much lately and you should probably talk with him about what he’s really interested in, rather than forcing him to keep trying to like what you like.
Aspen held the phone in font of his face as he laid on his side. His mistress, Em, was rhythmically thrusting into his tight sissy ass as she pegged him. Em loved to fuck Aspen as they spooned, she could look over his shoulder and direct his actions on the phone as he swiped left or right on her tinder account. Each thrust made the sissy’s dick (or clit as Em called it) throb in the chastity cage he was locked in. It had been six days sense Em had locked Aspens clit in the small, restrictive cage as she explained to him that he wouldn’t be let out until she fucked a real man. “No... no...” Em whispered into Aspens ear. “Keep swiping sissy.” Em reached over Aspen and started to gently massage her sissy’s balls. The sensation made Aspen moan and push his ass back onto his mistress’s strap on. “Stop... click on his picture” Em said thrusting deep into Aspen. “Is that Marcus Black?” “Yes Mistress...” Aspen moaned as the strap on penetrated him deep. “God he’s hot, show me his pictures” Em directed her sissy as she sped up her thrusts. Marcus Black was a linebacker for the college that the kinky couple attended. He was listed as 6’3” 240lb, and judging by the shirtless pictures on his tinder profile it was all muscle. “Swipe right.” Em said “Swipe right, right fucking now.” Aspen swiped right as Em pulled him to his knees and started to fuck him doggie style. Em started fucking Aspen hard with a new level of aggression. She and slapping his sissy ass making her sissy moan grunt noises of lust. Aspen’s locked sissy clit swung between his legs as the pressure built up making him feel like he was going to burst. “Oh god, Mistress” Aspen moaned, a long string of pre cum hung down from his chastity cage. “I’m so close!” Em stopped her thrusting and pulled the strap on out of the sissy’s ass. “You think you can cum? I haven’t even cum...” Em pulled the strap on harness off and laid on her back with her legs spread. She yanked her phone from Aspen. “Eat up, you useless sissy” Apron crawled between the long legs of his mistress and started to lick her pussy. Em cooed as his tongue licked up her wet clit; the sounds filled the feminized sissy with pride. Aspen loved being between his mistress’s thighs as she moans and sighs. He loved looking up as her body went through an orgasmic dance as her breath quickened and caught in her throat. Seeing the way she reacted during any sort of sexual play was his favorite. “Oh fuck you’re so good at that Aspen, it’s the only reason I keep you around sissy!” Em cried out as Aspen swirled his tongue over her clit. Aspen went to town licking between the fold of her pussy lips, greeted by sweet tastes of Em’s juices. Em slid her hand to the back of Aspens head interlocking her fingers in his shoulder length hair that he had been growing out. “Omg we matched!” Em said at the cusp of an orgasm. After Aspen licked Em to two orgasms, she quickly exchanged numbers with Marcus and their conversation turned sexual almost immediately. The next day was a sexual blur for Aspen as he spend the majority of his free time with his face between his mistress’s legs or getting her ready for her meet up with Marcus. Em would send screen shots of her conversation and pictures with the large black bull to Aspen. Even if aspen wasn’t in chastity he was no man compared to Marcus. Some of the pictures Marcus sent showed his cock. Even soft the large black man was three times the size of Aspen; hard Marcus was probably 10 inches. “Baby, we need to get something special...” Em announced. “What do we need” Aspen asked. “I ordered you two new toys, and need lingerie, I think we will go to the mall and pick some out” Em said as she walked to the closet to get dressed before they left. Aspen sat in the passengers seat enjoying the feeling of his overly full balls being cradled by soft panties and the stocking that he wore under his pants. Even the jeweled plug in his sissy ass felt good. “Mistress?” Aspen asked as they turned into the mall parking lot. “Yes, honey?” Em inquired. “Does Marcus know about me?” Aspen followed up. “Does he know I have a boyfriend or that my boy friend isn’t a real boy but rather a sissy gurl” Em said teasingly. “Any of it Mistress.” Aspen replied feebly. “He knows....” Em replied as she put the car in park and hopped out. Aspen got out of the car and followed her into the mall. Em led they way to a lingerie boutique where the couple started browsing the racks. Eventually Em directed Aspen to find a set of lingerie that he would like to see her in. “Do I get to see you in this?” Aspen asked. “Of course you do. It might be ripped and in tatters by that point after Marcus fucks me senseless.” Em replied. “Okay what about these panties?” Aspen asked. “With a matching bra!” Aspen held up a set of black lace panties and a matching bra. Em broke into a smile. “And we could add these stocking and a garter belt too...” Em said pointing out a set of stockings. “Yes Mistress.” Aspen said imagining his mistress in the black lingerie. “And because you’re such a good sissy ‘gurl’ I’ll get you a matching set” Em said as Aspens clit swelled in its cage at the word “gurl.” Humiliation is what drove Aspen into being Aspen. Before he had met Em, Aspen was a normal guy named Jay. He watched sports, drank beer with his buddies and dated girls like an average guy, but then he started dating Em and things changed. Em took over Aspens’s world and before he knew it he was asking for permission to cum, and begging to be feminized. “Come on, let’s check out, sissy” Em said a little louder than Aspen would have liked. Em led Aspen to the check out counter. A girl around their age who odds would say attended the same college was at the register. “Did you find everything okay?” The attendant asked. “Yes we did” Em replied. “Oh my god, these are so pretty you’ll look so good in them!” The girl remarked. “WE will look good in them” Em corrected her, smirking and raising her brow when she emphasized the word “we.” “One set for me... and one for my pathetic excuse of a boyfriend” Em added. Aspen’s stomach twisted into knot as Em said this. The girl at the register was blushing but not nearly as hard as the embarrassed sissy. “Well, have a fun time” the girl said with a giggle as Em led Aspen out of the store. Back in the car Aspen was still blushing. His clit struggled in the confines of its cage. The plug filled his ass. The humiliation and public display under his mistress had him at his limit. “Mistress, I need to cum so bad” Aspen wind. “Ohhh is my sissy turned on?” Em teased as she reached over and grabbed Aspen’s locked clit. “Show me sissy.” Aspen obediently spilled his pants down to the top of the lace stocking showing his locked panties off. There was a small wet patch of precum that had leaked out from the small prison locking up his manhood. “Oh that’s so cute you get wet when you’re turned on!” Em remarked as she swirled a finger over his locked clit. “Yes, Mistress” Aspen dutifully replied. The rest of the car ride seemed to drag on for Aspen as his mistress wouldn’t let him cover up is feminine secret. It seemed like more and more precum would leak out at each stop light due to the risk of being seen by on lookers inside passing cars. When they arrived back at Em’s apartment Aspen asked “Mistress, where am I going to be for this? Am I going to be in the room?” “Oh that’s a good question, I haven’t really been thinking about you. My mind has been preoccupied with the thought of Marcus’s massive black cock stretching me open” Em replied. “I’ll check with Marcus, he might not want you around.” “I... I think I’d want to watch you Mistress.” Aspen commented “If that counts for anything.” “Why is that?” Em asked her sissy. “I don’t know how to describe it, but the humiliation and jealousy... I feel it sexually and it the biggest rush ever” the sissy explained. Em smiled at Aspen, she loved when her sissy gave her nuggets of information like this. It made their relationship closer and feel real. Em thought it built trust and understanding. “Do you want me to humiliate you more?” Em inquired. Aspen just nodded yes. “I need you to say it, Aspen” “I want you to humiliate me, Mistress” Aspen said quickly. To which Em replied with “Good, now go take a shower shave your body smooth and get dressed in what I lay out for you. I’m going to call Marcus I’ll ask if it’s okay that you stay and watch but if he says no then you can’t stay here.” Aspen nodded yes and went off to shower. He shaved his body and face. Aspen loved being hairless and smooth. He then went to work on fixing his hair and make up. Em dutifully fought Aspen how to fix his appearance so that he was possible. She said he was lucky because he didn’t have many masculine features. As Aspen was putting on his eye makeup, he heard Em talking on the phone in the front room. He wondered if she was still on the phone with Marcus, talking about the orgasmic night ahead of them. “Aspen!” Em called. “Yes, mistress?” Aspen called back as he applied eyeliner. “When you’re done getting ready put the lingerie I laid out on the bed. The bring your pathetic sissy ass out here, I have something to show you and I have to give you your new toys!” Em said giggling. “Yes ma’am” Aspen replied. Several minutes later, Aspen pulled the lace panties up his legs over the garters. Em liked for him to wear his panties over his garter belts so that it would be easier to take on and off when the time came. Looking into the full length mirror Aspen took in his reflection. His lefts looks feminine in heels and stockings, the charter belt added a touch of class that he just adored and the black lacy panties cupped his full balls perfectly. The combination of panties and garter suspenders made his bubble butt pop. His hair and make up made his features look incredibly girly. He actually looked like a flat chested girl minus the chastity cage between his legs. The feeling he felt inside turned him on. It had been a week at this point in chastity and his hormones were flowing, so was the precum that made a small wet patch at the tip of his chastity cage. Aspen turned and walked toward the front room, thankful that Em had forced him to learn to walk in heels. As he opened the door and walked out of the bedroom his stomach twisted into a knot; he was met by laughter but not just Em’s. Ann, Em’s neighbor was sitting on the living room couch. Aspen got light headed and stumbled reaching out he used the wall to catch himself. Em had exposed him before, to the fire at the lingerie boutique, but he his girlie cloths were covered up by his boys cloths. This was the first time that someone from out side the kinky couples relationship had seen him dressed as a sissy. “Oh my god look at him! He looks like a girl!” Ann cried out. “What... what’s is she doing here?” Aspen muttered trying to cover himself. “Don’t you dare cover your self up!” Em yelled. “Marcus said he didn’t mind if you watched but it would have to be over FaceTime, he didn’t want your pathetic ass in the room, so I asked Ann to watch you while I’m getting dicked down.” Aspen stood up straight blushing. He was filled with fear he felt that a line had been crossed but any anger he felt faded into a feeling of humiliation fueled arousal. Ann smiled, her aura was cruel but she looked to be turned on by the situation. “Oh little Aspen, I’m going to babysit you and we’re going to have so much fun!” Ann said speaking to Aspen like he was a child. “But your mistress told me I can’t let you have any cummies.” “That’s right sissy, Miss Ann is going to be in charge of you, now cross your arms behind you back, I’m going to inspect you and give you your toys! But first I’m going to blindfold you.” Aspen stood with his arms folded behind his back and his legs slightly spread, he looked at his Mistress. She was beautiful and had an air of dominance about her. She walked behind him out of his eyesight. “Are you ready for you for your first gift Sissy?” Em asked from behind Aspen. Aspen just nodded his head. “Okay Ann, you can get it” Em motioned to her neighbor. Ann got up from her spot on the couch and reached into a bad that Aspen hadn’t noticed and pulled out a huge black suction cup dildo. “Oh my god, it’s so big” Aspen said wide eyed. “It’s the same dimensions as Marcus” Em informed the sissy. “Now for the blindfold.” Em covered Aspen’s eyes with a blindfold leaving him in darkness. “I want to set some rules. First, you are not to cum with out the my permission of your superiors - that means me and Miss Ann.” Em explain. “Do you understand?” “Yes ma’am” Answered Aspen. Aspen flinched slightly as a pair of hands started to explore his body. Rubbing down his chest and sides. “Second, you will follow orders Miss Ann gives you. Her words are mine.” Em added “Yes ma’am” Aspen moaned as another set of hands started to explore his body. “Third and finally is I you cum before your get permission you won’t be let of your cage” Em said as a hand groped his balls. Aspen moaned, his arousal higher than it had ever been. Em attached a collar and a leash to her sissy’s neck and handed the leash to her neighbor. “Okay Marcus is going going to be here soon I need to get ready.” Em said. “Y’all have fun!” Ann pulled the leash with a jerk, leading the blindfolded sissy to the door. Aspen could hear the door open and feel the early evening sun on his long stocking covered legs. Aspen was thankful his girlfriend duplex apartment was set back from the road, but he knew if someone was walking down the street or driving slow and peaking through the trees they could see him. Ann lead the sissy out onto the walk before stopping. Aspen stood exposed to the world, feminized and blindfolded. Even through his fear of being seen he stood with his arms folded behind his back, legs spread. “Oh hey Em, I’m so jealous of you” Ann said turning back. “It’s been too long sense I’ve had good dick, and Marcus Black! Wow he’s so hot” “Oh my god he is!” Em agreed. “Let me show you some pictures of him!” Aspen had a feeling that the girls were stalling as he stood exposed to world. The blindfold made it worse because he could hear cars and the sounds of the small city but had no way of knowing if people could see him. His mind raced as he listened for the sounds of onlookers. “Jesus Christ, he’s huge” Ann said. “ Do you think he can fit inside you?” “He’s going to stretch me out for sure.” Em said “I’ve never had a good dick and this cock is going to make me cum again and again...” Aspen whined knowing that Em was right. Even before they had started chastity Aspen never made Em cum with his dick. The only way he could make her reach orgasm was by using his tongue. “Look what he said to me here.” Em said holding her phone out to Ann. “Oh my god. Are you going to let him do that to you?” Ann asked. “Do I have a choice?” Em giggled. Aspen’s mind raced he wanted to know so bad what Marcus was planning. Unfortunately for him, the blindfold kept him from reading the phone. “My god this dildo is big Aspen open you mouth” Ann demand. Aspen opened his mouth only to find it fold by the dildo. “Don’t let it fall on the ground, dirty slut.” Aspen’s eyes bulged under his blindfold. The dick was huge filling his oral cavity. He wondered what it would look like now, if a pedestrian walked by or a car pulled in. The thought scared him half to death but the humiliation stirred between his legs. His train of thought was broken by the two girls laughing. He heard the shutter sounds as one of the girls took a picture. “Oh my god I forgot your second gift” em shouted with glee and a laugh. “Hold on, slut. I’ll be right back” “Do you know what it is sissy gurl?” Ann teased “I do, and you are going to love it might be your worst enemy!” A few minutes later Aspen heard Em return. The leash pulled him forward and down until he was bent over the hood of one of the girls cars. Em pulled Aspen’s panties down to his knees. “Reach back and speaks your cheeks let me see your sissy pussy!” Em said accompanied by the sound of a camera taking pictures. Aspen dod as he was told, gripping the dildo in his mouth with his lips, by this point a level of spit at formed and he started drooling onto the hood of the car. Then Aspen felt something cold on his ass hole. “Just a little lube on your pussy!” Em said with more pictures being taken. “And now your present!” Em inserted a plug into Aspen’s ass, it was large and made the sissy moan out to the laughter of the girls. When the plug firmly in place Em pulled Aspen’s panties up. And had him stand. The full feeling was wonderful for Aspen, but then it started to vibrate. Aspen moaned loud and the giant dildo almost fell from Aspen’s mouth. Giggling Em addressed the sissy. “That’s it baby this is wireless, only Ann and I can control it from our phones!” Aspen moaned a thank you with the dildo in his ass, as one of the girls started playing and changing the speed of the toy. Em moved in front of Aspen and grabbed his balls and locked up clit. “Tonight I’m getting dicked down by a big black cock” Em squeezed Aspen’s balls firmly with each word as she said it. Before leaning and whispering into his ear “And remember honey, you’re not a real man” And with that Ann pulled the leash dragging Aspen off into her own apartment. As they entered the front door Em called out. “Remember, no cumming sissy!” To the relief of Aspen’s jaw Ann removed the dildo from the sissies mouth. Aspen open and closed his jaw in a circular motion stretching his soar muscles out. Ann the led the feminized sissy to the back room having him kneel on the floor. Aspen’s new plug was still vibrating on his prostate and every few moments the vibration pattern would change. Leading to an audible moan from Aspen followed by a giggle from Ann as she was busy moving thing around the room and setting things up. In Aspen’s head he wondered what Em was doing, if she was nervous, or having second thoughts. Aspen had spent long durations of time away from his mistress on school breaks or long weekends but during those few minted away from her under the blind fold exposed to Ann; Aspen relieved that he missed Em. A tear formed under Aspen’s blind fold he didn’t dare move and wipe it away, so it eventually rolled its way from under the blindfold and down his cheek. Suddenly he heard Em’s voice. “Can you hear me” she said. “Yes can you hear me?” Ann answered back. “Okay Marcus should be here any minute” Em said with excitement ass the vibrating plug sped up inside Aspen’s ass. “Are you ready, Sissy?” “Yes Mistress!” Aspen replied. Before adding a quick. “I love you” “I know honey, I love you too... but you’re just not a man enough for me. That’s why I had to invite Marcus over” Em said. Ann’s giggling remind Aspen that she was there. The sound of a car pulling in reached Aspen’s ears and he could feel Ann kneeling behind him. Aspen’s heart started to rase, he could feel if beating in his ears. There was a knock the Em’s front door. Then Aspen’s world lit up; Ann took the blind fold off. Aspen looked around from his knees, there were several tripods and camera set up filing him. He guessed that the set up was the same on Em’s side of the duplex apartments because there was a large tv screen showing different angles of Em’s back room. Aspen stared at the screen. He couldn’t look away because kneeling on the floor dressed in matching lingerie was Em. The only difference was that Em was still blindfolded. Ann was still behind Aspen, she leaned over and whispered into his ear. “Look at your mistress she looks so vulnerable and slutty kneeling like that!” Then it happened, a large black man walked into view on screen. Aspen’s clit jumped in its cage. It was Marcus and he was huge, the line backer towered over the kneeling Em. Marcus leaned down and spoke into Em’s ear “Are you ready for a real man?” “Yes sir” Em said her voice timid and small but filled with lust. “Why are you doing this?” Marcus asked. “My boy friend... I mean my sissy can’t please me” Em said. “Aspen isn’t really a man” Marcus looked at the screen and set up on Em’s side of the duplex and saw the sissy kneeling. “Fuck, you do look like a girl” Marcus said to to Aspen through the screen. Aspen just remained quiet. “What, the car got your tongue?” The bull teased. “I’m going to own your girl friend, do you understand?” Aspen nodded showing he understood. “Say it.” Marcus demanded. “You... you... are going to own my girlfriend” Aspen had trouble getting the words out of his mouth. Marcus pulled his shirt of and through it out of the picture before pushing his pants down and stepping out of them. His semi hard cock sprang out. “Oh my god” The words slipped out of his mouth before he even knew he said them. His clit strained in its cage knowing because he knew that Marcus’s dick was going to change Em’s life. “What’s that, sissy bitch?” Marcus asked. “Nothing sir.” Aspen said meekly. “I asked you what you said, faggot!” Marcus yelled taking his cock into his hands and slapping Em with it. Em staggered a little before getting back to her knees. Her blind fold made sure that she was unsuspecting of the hit, but she knew what had hit her and it was the first contact she had with a large black cock and it filled her with lust making her pussy damp. “I said oh my god sir, because your cock is huge” Aspen replied. Marcus’s cock was hard now as he said “Watch how your girl friend, no my slut uses it.” With that Marcus pressed his cock head against Em’a lips. Em opened her mouth and started sucking the cock. It took time but she got used to the size. She couldn’t see it but that made the moment more erotic so she started to bob her head up and down vigorously. Em started to moan on the bbc as drool and spit started to build up on her lips. Each time she bobbed up and down she took it in farther and farther. Aspen could see the gleam of spit extend on the length of Marcus’s cock with each of Em’s thrusts. Then Marcus stepped in front of Em, his strong black ass and legs filled the screen. Aspen could see the kneeling figure of his beloved girlfriend between the black bulls legs. Marcus grabbed the sides of Em’s head and started to thrust in and out as he began to face fuck the girl. Aspen could her Em struggle to take the massive cock being farces in and out of her mouth. She gagged and choked on it but she never quit. Em had always hated giving Aspen head, but she eagerly let the giant bbc fuck her mouth. Aspen just looked on in awe. He saw the large black balls hanging between Marcus’s legs swing back and forth hitting Em’s chin until long strings of spit and drool hung from the black mans sac. Just the Aspen felt something against his lips. He had forgotten that Ann was behind him now she was shoving the large black dildo into Aspen’s mouth. Aspen reluctantly opened his mouth and Ann went to town. She did not let Aspen get accustom to it’s size and rapidly started to face fuck the sissy’s mouth. Aspen gagged and choked on the dildo but couldn’t take his eyes off the screen where Marcus was using his girlfriend like a sex toy. In the other apartment Marcus pulled his dick out of Em’s mouth giving her some air. She gasped to catch her breath as Marcus pulled the blind fold off her face. Em’s eyes lit up as she saw Marcus naked and in the flesh for the first time. Her eyes were hungry and filled with lust. “Holy fuck!” She said as she eagerly dove back onto the cock in front of her. This time Em was the one fucking Marcus’s cock with her mouth. As Aspen watched the scene in front of him Ann fucked his mouth with the dildo, drool was hanging from his lips as he watched Em devour a cock. Em was stroking Marcus with both hands and sucking him off at the same time, the sound of her slurping was guttural. Her eye make up started to run as tears formed from taking suck a large unit into her mouth. Aspen thought to him self that Em looked possessed. “Awwww” Aspen moaned. Ann had changed the vibrating plugs patter and was using her free hand to push it in and out of Aspen’s ass. The sissy fell down so that he was on on his elbows. “Oh fuck, oh fuck” Aspen cried as the pressure on his prostrate make his clit fill the space in its cage. “Fuck?” Marcus asked. Pulling his drool covered cock out of his new sluts mouth. Em lunged for the cock after it was pulled out but Marcus grabbed a fist full of her hair and pulled her closer to the camera. With Em held at bay Marcus looked into the camera. “Do you want me to fuck my slut” Aspen groaned and looked up at the camera. Em was still trying to get her mouth to Marcus cock despite being held back. “Please fuck me, please!!!” Em begged trying to land her mouth on the giant black dick. “I... I... I don’t know!!” Aspen cried out trying to to cum as Ann pressed the vibrating plug in and out of Aspen’s ass. Marcus dragged Em to the bed by her hair, and pulled her panties off, he started to slap the head of his cock on her wet pussy lips. “You want this slut?” He asked her. “Yes yes I need it.” Em shouted. “Oh my god fuck me already.” “Tell me what you are!” Marcus shouted. “I’m your slut, I’m yours I belong to you pleasee fuck me!” Em begged “I own you now.” Marcus said slapping her clit with his dick “You are mine!” “Yes yessss! I’m you’re slut I’m your slave you’re my master!” Em panted, she was almost crying at this point the only thing on her mind was Marcus’s big dick repeatedly slapping her wet pussy. Aspen was stunned as he watched his girl friend degrade her self for black cock. He watched as Em twisted and squirmed under Marcus just trying to get the huge cock into her wet pussy. “Awwwweeee!!l Em screamed! Marcus pushed his cock in one smooth pump into the slutty girls pussy. “Fuck!” Aspen heard Em through the walls. He saw her body tense up. It took one stroke of Marcus cock and his mistress started to cum. Ann turned the vibrating plug to maximum and Aspen collapse to the ground shaking at the brink of orgasm as he looked up at the screen and saw his precious girlfriend orgasm on another mans superior cock. Marcus drove into Em, he didn’t go easy on his new sex slave. He pounded her with the full ten inches. Em’s eyes rolled back into her head as he fucked her senseless. Marcus used deep powerful thrusts that caused the long legged girl to gasp and moan with pleasure. The sounds Em made were guttural and loud as came over and over. Marcus’s black cock was coated with Em’s cream and cum as he pulled out of her gaping pussy lips, grabbing his submissive girl by the hair hell pulled her to her feet and pushed her chest first into the wall before sliding back into her. Fucking her from behind Marcus slammed into Em over and over again. Red hand prints appeared on Em’s ass as Marcus spanked her. The speed at which Marcus fucked his new toy amazed Aspen who looked on with jealousy at the brink of his own orgasm. Marcus fucked Em against the wall. Aspen could hear the thudding and as he looked on he saw a framed picture that he and Em took together at six flags the summer before. The picture bounces abs shook as the bull took advantage of Aspen’s girlfriend until it fell to the ground and shattered, Em screened as yet another orgasm hit her making her legs shake as her face and chest was pressed against the wall. Ann turned the vibrating plug off and pulled Aspen up to his knees by his hair. “Look at that sissy, your whole world is shattering and you’re about to cum because of it!” Ann said as she squeezed Aspen’s full balls. Marcus pulled out of Em and stepped back, the girl fell to the ground shaking as organs continued to roll through her body. He picked the girl up by the East and positioned her face down ass up before turning to the camera. “I’m going to fuck this slaves ass!” He billowed. “What are you going to do about it?” Aspen looked on in shock. Em hated anal she refused to let the sissy anywhere near her ass hole. “Try to stop me bitch” Marcus challenged the sissy! “Wha... what?” Aspen said to nobody in particular. On screen Marcus began to slap Em’s ass as he reached for a bottle of lube. Aspen’s head spun. He didn’t know what to do. “What are you waiting for sissy, go save you girl if you can!” Ann said into Aspen’s ear. Aspen shot to his feet and ran out of Ann’s apartment into Em’s. Aspen rushed into the back room and froze in the door way. Marcus loomed over Em who at this point was reaching back between her legs rubbing her slit as Marcus lubed up her ass. Marcus looked over his shoulder at the sissy and laughed. Aspen was filled with hate and jealousy and envy, the sissy’s stocking covered legs went into motion and he sprinted across the room and through his body into Marcus. Aspen feel to the floor the strong black man didn’t flinch and just smiled down at him as he used his fingers to probe and lube up Em’s ass. “You’re going to hurt her!” Aspen cried but Em stoped his complaint by reaching over and grabbing his balls and cage. Em squeezed tight causing her sissy pain. “Shut the fuck up Aspen! Get on your knees and hold out you hands!” She said. “Master, make him lube you up” Aspen’s heart broke but his sissy clit leaked when Em said the word master. He knew that Em was Marcus’s at the point, but the sissy did as he was told. Kneeling he held out his hands waiting for Marcus to squirt some lube into his palms. Marcus slapped his huge dick into the sissies hands and was about to squirt the lube before he stopped. Aspen closed his fingers around the shaft and stroked the cock unconsciously. Marcus just laughed at the pathetic sissy. “Suck it sissy fag.” He laughed. “What?” Aspen said. “It’s ‘What, Master?’ and I said suck it!” Marcus pulled Aspen by the hair and shoved his cock into the sissies mouth. He started to face fuck the sissy. Aspen didn’t know what was happening but before long he found himself on his knees taking the cock in his mouth. The buzzing started up again on Aspen’s prostate as Ann had followed him into Em’s apartment. “Oh my god, I think he likes it!” Ann said as he hand slipped into her shorts. “Fuck the sissy gurl can suck a dick! Do you like it sissy fag!” Marcus teased. Not knowing what came over him with a cock in his mouth Aspen just moaned in agreement and started to bob his head up and down. Aspen looked up at Marcus from his knees and he gave his mouth to the black bull. Before he knew it he found his hands on the cock striking is abs his head bobbing up and down. “He’s a natural! I might keep this one too!” Marcus laughed. “God. Your sissy is a cock sucker, Em” Ann laughed as she played with herself. Em got to her knees she was the jealous one now. Marcus guided her head to his balls. Em went to work licking the big bulls heavy ball sac. It felt huge on her nose as she got under it and licked and sucked Marcus’ balls. Aspen kept going getting sloppy and wet as he sucked Marcus off. He moaned and swirled his tongue on the shaft before Marcuse made the kinky couple switch places. Em went back to work on her new masters cock; set to prove that she was Marcus’s best cock sucker. “Oh fuck - I like this” Marcus moaned. “Are you ready for you ass to get fucked, my cute little slut?” “Yes, master.” Em said getting up and kneeling on the edge of the bed. “Okay, sissy, let me see your hands.” Marcus told Aspen. Aspen knelt next to Marcus and held his hands out receiving a generous squirt of lube. Aspen then stoked Marcus spreading the line out. “Guide him into my ass aspen deer!” Em said from her spot on the bed. Aspen guided Marcus’s sick to Em’s waiting ass. “Oh fuck.” Em moaned as Marcus pushed his dick into her ass. Em’s voice had hints of pain but was mostly lust. “Okay, let me breath... okay” Marcus lowly pushed in deeper until he was all the way in. “Mmmm that’s it baby girl” Marcus cooed. “Take my dick in your ass.” Em started to press against the cock as Marcus built up a rhythm. The girl started to moan with each thrust. “Wow, that’s so hot, girl!” Ann said. “I’ve been practicing” Em said in a giggle mixed with a moan. This shocked Aspen he thought En hated anal but he realized Em just didn’t want anal with him. Marcus started to grunt as he held Em’s hips and fucked her. Aspen was filled with lust and before he knew what’s he was doing crawled under Marcus and started to eat out Em. This sent Em over the edge as she began to cum on Marcus. Aspen could feel Marcus’s balls slapping against his chin so he lid down and started to lick the heavy ball sac. Before long Marcus flipped over so he was sitting, he held Em up so her back was against her chest and started to fuck her. Aspen started to lick Marcus’s balls as he impales Em. Em shrieked as she bounces on the large cock. Aspen went from licking Marcus’s balls and shaft to Ems vagina and back. “Oh my god I’m going to cum again Master!” Em cried out. Aspen moved up and started sucking on Em’s clot as his girl friend came again on Marcus cock. Em’s eye rolled back and he started to shake uncontrollably. “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuuuuuckkkkk” Em went limp on the massive cock, lost in her own world. As wave upon wave of organic bliss rolled over her. “I need a break please, Master!” Em begged. “I ain’t done yet!” Marcus said. Em slid if her master collapsed on the bed. Ann went and held her as she recovered. Aspen knelt watching the scene that just unfolded in front of him, that he was apart of before Marcus pulled him up by his hair. Marcus was still sitting in the bed and spun Aspen around, with one motion he ripped Aspen’s panties off. Marcus pulled the plug out of the sissies ass and tossed it to the side. Aspen looked into Em’s eyes knowing what was about to happen. “It’s okay, baby. I know you’re going to love it” Em said. I’ve seen your porn searches, I know you want this, faggot!” Marcus lifted Aspen up before he could protest and slid into the sissy’s ass. “Fuck, you’re tight sissy!” Marcus cried out. He started to thrust in and out. All aspen could do was moan and move to meet the bulls body. Marcus leaned back onto the bed, Aspen set her feet on his thighs and extend his arms behind his back and started to bounce on Marcus. “Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck” Aspen cried out repeatedly as we worked the massive dick in his ass. “Oh my god!” Em got up and crammed over to Aspen. “What is is sissy?” “It’s so good.” Aspen moaned. “I know Masters cock is the best, sissy.” Em affirmed. “Mistress, I’m going to cum!” Aspen cried. “You need permission sissy!” Em said “First ask Ann, she deserves some say in this” Em giggled. Aspen rode the dock for a few more seconds collecting his thoughts. “Miss Ann, please May I cum?” “Wow you are suck a pathetic sissy faggot, riding cock and begging to cum. Can you even cum locked up like that?” Ann teased as she stalled for time! “Pleaseeee!” The desperation was building. “Well because you have been so good I think you can cum” Ann said. “Oh my god thank you!” Aspen sighed. “Wait a minute, Aspen dear. I still haven’t said you can cum, I just said Ann should get a say. I think you need to beg me and then Marcus!” Em said rubbing Aspen’s balls. “Mistress!” Aspen bucked wildly on the Marcus. As the three onlookers laughed at his predicament. “Please please please may I cum?” “Well I think of you cum you’re going be hooked on Master forever.” Em said “Please, please, mistress” Aspen was speaking in a whimper now as he bounced on the cock under him. Aspen’s locked cock flopped up and down, the bouncing weight of his locked up clit made him more and more desperate to cum. “You can cum busy first you need to ask my Master!” Em said as she rubbed the sissy’s sensitive balls. “Marcus, please” Aspen said, he was close to orgasm it was getting hard to talk. “I’ll let you cum sissy but you have to agree to something first.” Marcus said. “Anything.” Aspen said his eyes starting to roll back. By this point long strings of precum were leaking down Aspen’s cage onto his sissy’s balls. Em rubbed the precum into the sissy’s full nut sac. “Scream out that you’re a sissy slave for big black cock!” Marcus said to the laughter of the two girls watching. “And tell the world I’m your black master!” “I’m your sissy slave! I’m your sissy slave for black dick! You’re my black master!” Aspen shouted. “Cum!” Marcus commanded “Keep shouting it, bitch!” Aspen came, his clit strained against his cage. Thick white globs of cum sported out and fell onto his balls and Em’s hand. “I’m your sissy slave, Master! I’m a sissy slave” Aspen screamed over and over Marcus fucked him to orgasm. “Oh fuck I’m going to nut!” Marcus, pulled out of the sissy and pushed him to the ground next to Em. Em pressed her face next to her sissy’s just in time because with a load grunt Marcus let loose his load. Rope after rope of cum splashed on the pair of sex slaves faces. Aspen felt ropes of cum land across his nose and extend up into his hair. He felt another land on his chin. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the mess on Em’s fave she had a large mass of white thick cum clinging to her eye lid and stretching down to he cheek. Ann started snapping more pictures, she repeatedly talked about how hot the evening was as she did. Em pulled Aspen’s face to hers and started making out with her sissy. They kissed each other and licked and swallowed the cum, cleaning the mess up until there was nothing left to clean. Marcus stood over them and watched the pairs as the made out and ate cum off each other. Breaking them out of their cum filled world he announced. “I’m taking off, Em come over tomorrow morning I’ll need you’re slutty body again” Ann took a few more pictures before leaning down and kissing Em. It was the first time Em had ever actually kissed a girl sober but she moaned. “Thanks, Em I enjoyed the show! And don’t worry I’ll clean up my side of the apartment, call me if you need me to watch Aspen. I could use a maid.” Ann said giggling as she left. Aspen and Em crawled up onto the bed and layer down gave to face. “That was amazing, Aspen!” Em said. “Yeah, it was better than I could have imagined” Aspen replied. “I’m proud of you, sissy gurl” Em said grabbing and gently shaking Aspen’s cage. “Do you think I could be let out?” Aspen asked. “Maybe we should ask Master.” Em teased “but I did say I would let you out after a real man fucked me... so I’ll let you out just for the night!” Aspen was hoping for a longer amount of freedom but he didn’t want to complain so he just smiled as Em took a key from the night stand and removed the cage. “Thank you Mistress” Aspen said rolling over to be little spoon. “No playing with yourself!” Em said in Aspen’s ears. The couple let the evening drift off into night as the spooned still in their lingerie and smelling like sex. As Em was about to fall asleep Aspen asked one last question. “Mistress?” “Yes, Baby” Em said with her eyes closed. “Am I gay?” The sissy asked. Em reached around and grabbed Aspen’s free clit for the first time feeling it get hard in her hand. Em giggles remembering the size difference between Aspen and Marcus before saying “Aspen babe, sissies aren’t gay.”
Hey all! Recently back from a West Coast (USA) road trip for work. I had a chance to try out a lot of gear that I bought earlier in the year but hadn’t used yet due to Covid cancellations, and brought along a couple favorite pieces as well. I’ve learned a lot from the posts here, so thought I’d chip in and share my experience. I’m pretty new to one bag, though several years ago I did 2 weeks in Eastern and Northern Europe with just a 20L daypack (2 outfits, wash in sink nightly) before I knew what it was called. I’m an environmental consultant, and my co-worker and I needed to survey some beach areas along the Columbia River, including some accessible only by boat. We normally would have flown for this, but due to Covid we decided to drive, allowing us to avoid crowds and indoor spaces. That meant a 2,500-mile (4,000 km) road trip from southern California to southern Washington and back. We rushed up the faster inland route and took our time on the coast on the way down, for a total of 6 travel days and 2 work days. We stayed in dumpy highway motels, cool restored workmen’s motels, nice ocean-view coastal motels, and a campground in the northern California redwoods. So, some extra gear for work and camping, but mainly just what we were going to travel and hike in. We had a heat wave on the way up, and apocalyptic wildfires on the way back. Keep reading to see how it all held up.
Gear:
Eddie Bauer Stowaway Packable 45L Duffle (https://www.eddiebauer.com/p/82300152/stowaway-packable-45l-duffel?sp=1&color=Camo&size=ONE%20SIZE) I’ve yet to use the Tortuga Setout I bought just before Covid, but for road trips I prefer a duffle anyway. Easier to access and stack in the vehicle, and I only need to carry it from the car to my room or tent each night, nothing far. This EB one is a bargain (lists for $40, usually on sale for $20, available in several colors). The D-shaped opening (instead of straight zip) makes for easy access. It has a separate shoe compartment, which I use for storing dirty laundry instead. Since it’s stowable (in its own side pocket), it’s not very structured, but once packed everything stays in place pretty well. It’s made of polyester, so dirt brushes off; I doubt it’s very water resistant, though I haven’t tested. It’s durable: I’ve used it for a year on a half dozen camping trips and it still looks brand new. Have definitely got my $20 out of it. Planetary Design Steel Toe French Press (https://planetarydesign.com/shop/steel-toe-with-bru-stop-clearance/) I’m a huge fan of this French press coffee maker. Mine lives in my vehicle, in a tote bag with a Jetboil Zip, a 1L Nalgene of water, and a container of fresh ground beans so I can pull over and make coffee any time. The highlight of the Steel Toe is a double layer of mesh and a tight gasket, so way less grounds in the coffee than any other press I’ve used. The only drawback is that it doesn’t seal – there’s no way to close the sipper on top. I get around this by pouring straight into a mug or insulated bottle, but you can’t just toss it in your bag, you still need to deal with the grounds and remaining liquid or they can make a mess. They just released a new 2.0 version that has a locking closure, $33 list. Mine still looks new after a year and 50+ uses, so I’m just going to stick with it.
Clothing:
I’m male, 5’10” (178cm), 185 pounds (84kg). A bit of a dad bod with wide shoulders, 34” waist (Euro 50) and 30” inseam (76cm). I’m either a medium or a large, depending on brand and cut. I didn’t wash, rinse, or launder anything on this trip. I hung everything (shirts, pants, underwear, socks) up in the hotel room for as long as I could, preferably near an open window for sun and breeze, but that wasn’t always an option. Then I folded it and put it back into my duffel if it still had life left. If not, it got stuffed in the shoe pouch of the duffel for the rest of the trip. Off the Grid Surplus – Trailblazer Pro Pants – Taper Fit (https://offthegridsurplus.com/products/trailblazer-pro-pants-charcoal) These are like Prana Stretch Zion or Eddie Bauer Guide Pro pants but have more features than those and I’m liking these better. I got the Charcoal color, which is quite dark unless you put it up against some Slim Dungarees. The 34x30 fit very comfortably. They sit low on the waist but aren’t baggy in the crotch. The waist was a little snug at first, mainly because there’s no stretch there. The rest of the pant has lots of stretch, which keeps them snug but not constricting. Fabric weight is medium, and they breathe fine. They’re a little noisy but not the worst I’ve had. They’ve got lots of features and pockets, but they all seem useful and not gimmicky. No zips on the back pockets, but small flaps keep stuff secure. The mag pockets on each hip are perfectly sized for a cell phone. Details are thoughtful and finish is excellent, equal to pants I own from Western Rise or Outlier (the fabric doesn’t feel equal to either of those, but the rest is). Definitely a value at $84. These got a workout – after a pre-dawn boat ride, I hiked 6+ miles of sandy beach and off-trail scrub, climbed over algae-covered pilings, and sat on washed-up driftwood for lunch break. They were covered in sand and saltwater splash. I just brushed them off and hung them overnight before packing them up, and they were ready to go again 2 days later. Plus, they had a full road day on the way up. Off the Grid Surplus – Thunderbolt Work/Trail/Travel Shirt – Long Sleeve – Dark Olive (https://offthegridsurplus.com/collections/mens-tops/products/thunderbolt-shop-trail-travel-shirt-long-sleeve) These guys are local to southern California and market to the overlanding crowd. The designer used to do stuff for Prana and other outdoor gear lines and it shows. I got the Thunderbolt in a large, which was spot on – perfect for my wide shoulders, sleeves just right, a little extra room in the body to move around. The fabric is a poly-cotton blend with a ripstop grid. It’s definitely thicker than the synthetic button-ups I usually wear hiking, but there’s no info on the actual fabric weight. The Thunderbolt is pitched as a work shirt, so that’s how I tested it: early morning photography from the boat deck, coastal hiking with a full pack in 50-60˚ F (10-15˚ C). It did great in those conditions, though I think the heavy fabric weight will make it too warm for southern California use most of the year. It smelled a bit ripe at the end of the day, but that was after 8 hours of solid activity. It did better than some other synthetics I own, but it’s definitely not Merino-level odor-proof. Like the Trailblazer pants, the Thunderbolt shirt has a lot of features, but they work. Best is the venting down the full length of the back and the large external pocket on the back right, also vented. I tucked a water bottle in there for a bit, and while I probably wouldn’t use it like that often, it was accessible even with my pack on and it didn’t feel too uncomfortable. The shirt feels high quality, especially for $68, and I expect it to last a while, even with abuse from work. Also available in several other colors plus a short sleeve version. Smartwool – Merino Sport 150 Polo (https://www.smartwool.com/shop/mens-merino-sport-150-polo-sw000372) This was a real winner – it looks classy, with a standard polo cut but with prominent seams below the shoulder, and it performed very well. I’d worn this a few times before this trip, but not for any extended use. I got the medium, which is snug but not constricting. It’s a little looser than the same size Smartwool 100% merino hiking shirt I have. The polo is 58% merino/44% polyester, with barely any wool itch. It was comfortable to wear for dinner on the patio in Portland at 90˚ F (32˚ C), and for a cool morning on the coast at about 60˚ F (15˚ C). It also has a small lower side pocket with a zip; I didn’t use it much, but it wasn’t in the way. I got a lot of use out of this shirt on the trip, including a 9+ hour day of driving and two half days around town. I finally “killed” it during a hot humid hike through the redwoods while trying to keep up with my 15-years-younger co-worker. I could have worn it more if I had to, but it was ready for a wash at that point. There’s a tiny bit of pilling on the shoulders where my pack straps hit. No idea if it will affect durability and it’s barely visible, but it showed up after minimal use. I have a similar issue on a Stoic baselayer that’s 60% merino/40% polypropylene, so it may have something to do with the blend. The polo retails for $80, but I picked it up on clearance at REI for $45 with a coupon. Definitely worth the discount price, probably worth full retail as long as the pilling doesn’t affect durability. I got the Bombay Brown Heather color which looks orange to me, maybe a little on the peach side. A t-shirt and hoodie are also available in the same fabric. Lems – Boulder Boot - Vegan (https://www.lemsshoes.com/products/mens-boulder-boot-vegan?variant=31826357747770) These things are amazing. They were my first non-hiking zero-drop shoes. I’ve worn them a bit over the last 6 months but just around town, never for work. I really didn’t want to lug heavy field boots along for this trip, but I honestly didn’t think the Lems would do very well in these conditions. I was worried the tread wouldn’t cope with the algae-covered rocks and that the nylon upper wouldn’t stand up to off-trail use. But I was gladly proven wrong: no problem with traction or durability. I love how light weight these are, how huge the toe box is, and how the nylon can just be hosed or brushed off. My calves were killing me after miles of sand hiking, but my feet felt fine. Highly recommended. They also come in leather and waterproof versions, and they just released a mid-height as well. Lems Boulder Boots and Off the Grid Surplus Trailblazer Pro Pants Ridge Merino – Men’s Journey T-Shirt (https://www.ridgemerino.com/products/merino-wool-t-shirt-mens) This was probably the star of the trip. I thought I “killed” this shirt on the first day of the trip: a full day in the car followed by a walk around downtown Sacramento and dinner outside in 110˚ F (43˚ C). But I hung it up in the hotel overnight and it was fine to wear around strangers the next night :). It was also fresh enough for another full day of use at the end of the trip. I got size M, which is snug but not constricting. I really like the longer length, because no one needs to see my belly when I reach for something. The fabric is 87% merino/13% nylon and is very thin at 145 gsm, which is great for southern California year-round use. I returned similar shirts by Chrome and Woolly because they were too thick and a little bit short. It’s not see-through, though, and is incredibly soft and itch-free. They have crew neck and V-neck options and six colors. The black is very deep, on par with my Outlier Slim Dungarees, and hasn’t faded with several washes (cold, line dry). Retail is $50 and worth it, but they’ve had a couple sales this year.
Next:
I was planning to review more gear and clothing from the trip, including Birkenstock Arizona EVA sandals, Ridge Merino Boxer Briefs, the Bluffworks Field Jacket, and the Lochby Field Journal, but I keep getting delayed and wanted to get this out. If anyone’s interested, I’ll get those out soon. I also just got some new stuff that I’m breaking in, including the Western Rise AT Field Pant and Airlight short-sleeve shirt, Outlier Ramielust T-Shirt, and Flint & Tinder Chore Coat.
Hey Moonhorse. I love your channel. I like the way you tell stories, and I’d like for you to tell mine if you want to. It’s about my journey out of the kneckbeard mindset. Honestly, I could write a whole book about this that would bury Scott Pilgrim for eternity, but I’ll give you the short version. It starts kind of light, but I’m gonna get pretty deep with it, so I might pour a drink if I were you. At the time, I was your typical internet role playing, cargo shorts wearing, its-not-cartoons-its-anime nice guy. I liked beer, cigarettes, Chinese food, hentai, and not much else. I didn’t have a personality beyond the media I consumed and a festering bog of depression and anxiety. I had no idea how to dress or groom myself and I brushed my teeth little enough to make my dear uncle Moonhorse gag. One of my favorite t-shirts was from Walmart and featured a wolf howling at a full moon. It was pretty bad. I met my best friend when I was 20. She showed up at a mutual friend’s 420 party with a rich white kid on a $4,000 monthly allowance. The type that drives through the suburbs bumping Gucci Mane on the way to the neo-confederate manufacturing center otherwise known as “private Christian College in the South”. He was playing metal this time, which I later learned was a song she was showing him. This was Jax, at the time known by many as The Jackal. She had pixie cut pink hair and a goth ravergirl outfit that could turn a saint into a pagan. You’d think I would’ve been stricken, but I was such an edgelord that my brain said “player two has entered the arena”. I immediately switched the conversation to what obscure black metal I was listening to, and she asked me if I’d ever heard Polkadot Cadaver. I talked about the wild parties and massive bonfires we had out in the country, she regaled us with a tale of going nuts in a warehouse while a dj laid down the law. We were toe to toe, evenly matched, stoned out of our minds and locked in the ancient duel of the edgy goth kid. But then she busted out the big guns. A joke about eating babies. The fucking nuclear bomb of edgelord cringe. Somehow, I managed a riposte and narrowly escaped with my head, “Do you eat yours with ketchup or mustard?” And she chuckled and said, “Barbecue sauce!” We shared a genuine laugh and our first joke. That was the spark of our friendship and my immense crush on her. I didn’t see her for a while besides on Facebook, but we met again at some asshole’s apartment. I’m not calling him an asshole because of any mental dorito residue, but because he was a genuine fucking asshole. Once upon a day drink, he and his friend got target practice blowguns at the local army surplus store. I feel bad now because I’m the one who recommended them, seeing as my dad got me one when I was 12. I’m a country boy, and that’s the type of thing we play with, but we’re also usually being hovered over by our fathers as they reprimand us about weapons safety. It never occurred to me that they were gonna be such dumbasses with them. I wasn’t very socialized or educated in the stupidity of SOME people at the time, so I figured they just wanted to shoot at some cardboard boxes. But no, these two fools liked to shoot the needles across their apartment living room while it was full of people who were just trying to hang out and have a drink. Shortly after, one of them went through a bad breakup, and a few days after that a rabbit hopped in the yard. I won’t go into detail, but you can put two and two together. It triggered Jax and she broke down in tears. One of the dull lightbulbs tried to hug her and she screamed that she didn’t want to be touched just then. He stormed inside and pouted for the rest of the day, but I felt bad for her. Not in a “this will earn me brownie points with the girl I like” way, but in a my-heart-hurt-for-her way. It was a feeling I wasn’t used to which I later learned was empathy. I sat with her and we talked about our pasts for an hour or so and found out that we had a lot more in common than we thought. Similar thoughts, similar traumas, similar awkward teen days. We had a barbecue later that night, but Jax said she didn’t want to go because the same two guys who started all this mess were hosting it. I told her I thought she should go, that skipping it would only give them shit talking ammunition, and that she should walk up in there like she owned that house. She did just that because underneath all the insecurities, that’s the type of person she is. She wound up having a great time while the guy who tried to hug her pouted in his room all night. After that, she didn’t come around much. She had loaned a book to the asshole months before, and when she asked for it back, he told her she would need to hire a delivery service to come pick it up. Being my chivalrous, neckbeardy self, I offered to bring the book to her. This act was definitely an attempt to earn brownie points with the girl I liked. It worked, and we started hanging out. We’d stack empty beer cups at a hipster café and spend hours laughing and roasting our fellow patrons. We’d talk about movies and life and she’d challenge my beliefs about women. I’d want to respond with black pill bullshit, but she was the girl I liked and I didn’t want to push her away, so instead I started responding with “What do you mean by that?” and she’d totally destroy my point. The thing is, it all made sense. I liked her, so I listened, and dammit if it didn’t change my entire view of women. I learned that her favorite artist was Todd Smith and her favorite holiday was Valentine’s Day, but she also taught me that a lot of women are scared of men and have many very valid reasons to be. She taught me that being nice isn’t a personality trait and that I should work on my empathy, compassion, and kindness. She gave me a space to show my emotions and taught me that I don’t have to feel ashamed for crying. Most importantly, she taught me that it’s ok to be depressed as long as I find a healthy way to express it and don’t become a fountain of toxicity. I had no concept of the journey that would become, but every day is another chip off the marble. I’ve since learned that it’s constant and careful work, like Michelangelo sculpting The David. We kissed the day after Valentine’s Day. “The other guy”, in reality the guy she was hooking up with that I was in denial about, had totally screwed up her holiday and I decided to swoop in since they weren’t technically official yet. I gave her a heart shaped chocolate box full of weed and her lips brushed mine like a Monarch in the fall. At 21, it was my first kiss. We kissed the next day, longer this time, and I melted into a thousand drops of milk and honey. I was totally in love. My dumb ass decided to ask her the next day if she just wanted to be friends. I asked her this because I still believed in the friend zone and thought I’d go ahead and get that conversation out of the way, little knowing that she would interpret this as me stating that I just wanted to be friends. I realized my mistake and told her that I liked her, but it was obvious to everyone that I wasn’t ready for a relationship. She and her partner became official and she told me that she knew I liked her, but she didn’t feel the same way. I said I understood, but what I understood and what was true were totally different things. What was true was that she had decided that she wanted to remain friends because she didn’t want to put the expectations of a romantic relationship on me or lose me to a bad breakup, but I only understood why she wouldn’t want to date me. I understood that I was a loser. I understood that nobody would ever like me. I understood that nothing mattered and life had become hopeless. Within the next year, Jax was forced into a financial situation that moved her to Florida with her parents, and I got my first DUI. I’d had a brush with the law before where I got put on 11/29 for a half a gram of weed, but I didn’t think much of that. Hell, my first DUI wasn’t even that big of a deal to me. I was depressed and falling into a void of black pill ideology, so what did I care about spending a night in jail? Once again on probation, I continued to be a fool, although I did learn some things during this time. I was regularly attending a small metal bar called Daisy Duke’s and met my people. I totally flipped the script. I always leaned toward dressing goth, but I bought a vest, and got my waist length hair (which I had started taking care of and braiding) shaved into a mohawk. I definitely did it to look like Ragnar, but it was a big step out of my bubble. Through making those friends, I started to understand what Jax meant when she said she wanted to stay friends. I started to escape the friend zone. More accurately, I started to realize that being friends with someone is an honor. The amount of trust and courage it takes to open yourself up to another person and hand them your darkest secrets and deepest thoughts with no expectations or judgement is staggering. At Daisy Dukes I met a lot of cool people who wound up becoming like family, and they were always there when I was feeling down. They did nothing but encourage me, bolster my personality, and adore my laugh which I now let fly regularly and organically. I met them through a friend of mine who played the larp I had recently joined. It’s a combat orientated game that treats larp more like a full contact sport. Belegarth, for those of you who know what I’m talking about. I made a lot of friends, and in the absence of a shell to hide in, kept expanding my boundaries. It felt good, and I no longer lived in a constant state of anxious depression. I even had the opportunity to meet some strippers, and it turned out that they were super cool people who had misogyny down to a science, hustling dirty old rich men in the club for a couple thousand dollars per night. I watched one of them beat my friend who works at a rock quarry in a push up contest. They were badasses. I didn’t want to sleep with them, I didn’t want to date them. I wanted to be like them. I started becoming more flamboyant with my expressions and flaunting myself, walking into places like I owned them. It was still a little cringey, but it was a vital step in becoming who I am today. The problem here was that I still hadn’t addressed the root of the issue, my trauma. Eventually I got into cocaine. One time I spent a thousand dollars on it in a week and wound up with a handful of blood after I blew my nose in the shower one morning. I decided to quit, but still wound up going back to jail twice for various reasons. I was out of control. My third and final stay in the jailhouse lasted nine days and gave me the opportunity to go cold turkey and decide to fix myself. I told them I wanted help and I thought I had ptsd. After singing Folsom Prison Blues with some other inmates in the courthouse holding cell, I found myself in the mental health court system with court ordered therapy, a PO who actually understood what I was going through, rehab, and a judge who let me know she wasn’t fucking around. I was more than happy to participate in the program if it meant not eating another government boloney sandwich. By the way, if you ever go to jail, don’t eat the cornflakes. They have rat shit in them. Best piece of advice I ever got. It’s sad how many people are in there for months and years at a time for nonviolent crimes. Kind of makes you think that maybe jails, prisons especially, prey on the poor and homeless, farm taxpayer money as they fill cells, and exploit prisoners as slave labor. I’m not saying I didn’t deserve to go to jail, that’s just, like, my opinion on the issue, man. In jail, I spent 18 hours in the suicide box, which is nothing compared to how long they leave some of those poor souls in there. They throw you in a cell, naked except for a blanket, with a toilet, a sink, and a metal bench with no mattress. When you need to use the john, they don’t give you more toilet paper than you can survivably swallow. Do you know how much toilet paper you can survivably swallow? Not enough to wipe your ass with, haha. Needless to say, I forgot about all my stupid fucking girl problems. I had some real problems now. When I was let out, I literally skipped back into gen pop. I learned that while I should always strive to be a better version of myself, I should also find comfort in the things that I have; because, things can always get worse. Jail was a trip to hell and back, but being on probation was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Proving myself when the sun was out and life was good didn’t mean anything. Proving myself only meant something when it was getting dark and my options were get a fire going or freeze to death. So I lit my tinder and stoked it. I dove head first into therapy, I learned everything I could about who I was and why I did the things that I do. I found validation and ease and a sense of self-confidence. Real self-confidence, not the performance bullshit I had once perceived as self-confidence. I admitted that I was bisexual and stopped pretending that I didn’t lose my virginity to one of my guy friends when I was 15, I finally had sex with a girl and had a lot of fun because she was very patient and basically walked me through it, I even got a pair of drop dead sexy boots from a local oddities shop along with some jewelry. I like to clack and jingle when I walk down hallways. I don’t know if that’s cringey or not, but it’s a mood. About a month or so before I graduated con college, I got a job working the fish counter at a Whole Foods. It gave me a chance to develop my people skills and meet some really solid friends, one of which was my manager and the vocalist of a fucking rad local punk band called Stuck Lucky (support and promote your local music scene). Jax moved back to town and went to school for a master’s degree in counselling while I sold fish and lived in an apartment in an area of town that some would call rough. I lived there for a year, moved out and back into my dad’s house. Technically living at home, I couch surfed in town because home was 35 miles away and I didn’t have a car. It was almost like camping. I had the gear on my back and nothing else which usually included a couple changes of clothes, a phone charger, a book, and a pint of whiskey. I’d kicked my coke and opioid habits, but I didn’t have the will power to give up all my vices at once. To this day, I still smoke weed and drink albeit much less often than I used to. I worked at Whole Foods for three years answering stupid questions, learning from an old man with a 20 year career as a commercial fisherman under his belt, and learning that if I didn’t break my people pleasing habit and stop taking shit I was going to go mad. I learned how to fillet a fish fucking perfectly. I had my own set of knives and everything. That’s totally beside the point of this story, but hell, I’m proud of that skill. Since then, the pandemic’s hit and I have a job closer to home. I cut out a nice little place for myself in the pine trees on my dad’s property and I’m living in a tent. It’s kind of nice, gives me a chance to take a break and focus on the little things. Winter’s coming and I think current affairs are going to get a lot worse before they get better, so I’m going to buy a winter tent and a wood burning stove and stay out there for now. I’ve started going to the gym and it’s become my drug. I’ll still have a smoke or a drink with you, but since I no longer feel the need to escape my own mind, I don’t worry about it if I run out. I’ve been eating healthy and my digestive system has changed to where I can’t go back to pizza, wings, and beer on a daily basis. My mental health is the best it’s ever been and is getting better every day. Things that used to send me into weeks of misery now roll off me like water off a duck. I’ve developed a solid personality that other people enjoy. I’m magnetic, and I love it. I love myself and who I’ve become. I even love my past self because if I didn’t have that starting block I never would’ve taken the journey to learn what I know now. Existence is beautiful even at its darkest. Here’s where I go deep, so buckle up. To the men in the room: Because of Jax, I now know what it means that women are people. It means that they are human beings just like me. They are just as scared, just as insecure, and just trying to survive like everybody else. But the difference between me and them is that I will never be afraid to do something as simple as walking down the street. I wear a spikey vest with a Mjolnir (Thor’s hammer) back patch, either a kilt or black jeans, and Harley boots. I have the forearms of a 50 year old construction worker and the biceps to match. Nobody’s going to mess with me. But where I am comfortable, the 90 pound girl walking home from the closing shift fears for her life. Sexual assault is one of the great destroyers of people’s souls. Being sexually assaulted was the very soil that my seed of hate and self loathing was planted in, and it happened when I was very young. I have been dealing with this for twenty years, and I’m only now starting to learn how to manage the trauma and let it go. No human being should have to go through that and 1 in 4 women are forced to by slimy pieces of bottom-feeding worm shit that embody every aspect of the phrase “a wolf in sheep's clothing". ONE IN FUCKING FOUR. Like my dad says, “The foxes aren’t just in the chicken coop, the foxes built the damn coop to begin with.” That’s obviously not okay, but for some vile reason, we as a society allow it to happen when we say things like “she’s exaggerating”, "she was flirting", or “she was wearing blah blah fucking blah”. It’s not just sad, it’s incredibly disturbing, and if this does not mortify you, then you have forgotten what it means to be a human being. Greed pushed humans to enslave others. Greed pushed people to create hierarchies that turned women into subservient accessories on a social market. Greed is what keeps pushing Olympian-tier scum fucking bastards like Donald Trump into seats of power. Greed is the reason the planet is dying. Greed is why one of the largest and most expansive genocides in human history was committed to make room for vicious Conquistadors, European slave traders, and other such cannibals. This greed is exactly why I was a neckbeard. I wasn’t a neckbeard because I was bullied or because of my trauma, I was a neckbeard because I felt entitled to the tits and ass that were being pushed in the media I was consuming with no regard for the individualism or humanity of the women I was drooling over. I didn’t want a girlfriend, I wanted a commodity. I was a greedy child infected with toxic masculinity and patriarchal bullshit. Greed infects us from the CEO’s decimating the environment, to the piece of shit who guilt trips women into sleeping with him, to the boy who thinks he’s entitled to something he’s not. And what do they tell the people with naturally rebellious personalities? They push the idea that humans are a disease, that there’s nothing you can do about it, and the only solution is to kill off x amount of the population but why bother, we’re all going to die anyway. Just keep consuming, munch on your plate of shit and devour the people closest to you, you'll be fine. So you ultimately become apathetic and conform to the rebel-without-a-cause archetype or you turn into something rancid that never leaves the basement. In the best case: out of sight and out of mind, in the worst: a direct contributor to our collective suffering. Our Mother Earth is sick because we are sick. She is our living god and we continue to let powerful men abuse her just like we continue to let entitled men abuse women in our country. This. System. Is. Repulsive. We have to put a stop to it. Reading feminist literature is not enough. Sharing feminist memes is not enough. Condemning the patriarchy is not enough. We must organize with our sisters, end the reign of these tyrannical children, and confront misogyny and chauvinism wherever we see it. To quote Thomas Sankara, "Comrades, there is no true social revolution without the liberation of women. May my eyes never see and my feet never take me to a society where half the people are held in silence. I hear the roar of women’s silence. I sense the rumble of their storm and feel the fury of their revolt." End quote. I'll see you on the picket line. I’m turning 28 in two weeks and I still don’t have a girlfriend, but I don’t really want one anymore. I want a partner. Someone who can take care of themself and live their own life but chooses to be with me because they want to, and I continue to strive to live up to that expectation because that’s only fair. More than that, it’s my responsibility as a human being. We should all, every single one of us, strive every day to be the best, most compassionate, most loving and empathetic versions of ourselves. It’s not easy, but it is necessary for our survival as a species. I believe that the reason I’m not a full blown incel right now is not simply because of education or a change of clothes, but because of baby steps that ultimately resulted in a spiritual awakening and a reconstruction of my perception of reality. It was never about the things I was learning, but how I applied those things to my every day behavior and inner dialogue. Theory is useless without application. I believe this journey is the cure for the virus, and my hope is that we all take it together. Heaven and Hell aren’t places you go after you die, they are what you create from this hurricane of existence. Imagine what we could achieve. From my heart to yours, my fellow human being, I love you. Thank you for listening. P.s. I got lots of stories about neckbeards, incels, and nice guys I met throughout the years. I promise they won't all end with rants about the state of things lol
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